Pining for the Fjords

This view reminds me of one person in particular, Damon. (not his real name)

I first met Damon when I was staying with his brother.  I used to sit on the veranda in the morning, occasionally catching a glimpse of him as he passed through the yard to the shower.  I wasn’t looking for him, but I noticed he would try to catch my eye.  And I liked it.  He was attractive, a little on the cute side as opposed to the handsome side.    He’s the kinda man you know you’re gonna have alot of pickney with.  Not because you think he would make a good father, but because condoms are only 99% effective and you just can’t beat those odds. 

Ah, Men

I wasn’t in Belize too long, before the men started hitting on me, I mean like right when I got off the bus, which I must admit was a nice change. I couldn’t get a man to look at me in the States if i walked naked through a prison. So my initial impression was that Belizean men aren’t very particularly choosy about they women. YAY, I’m home!

The Beginning

Well fuck! Fuckity, fuck, fuck! My life has taken a slight downturn lately. For once I actually want to reach back to the States before it is time to go. That is highly unusual for me, which you would know if you knew me at all, which of course you do not. Let me tell you a little bout myself. Suffice it to say, I am not enough. I am not tall enough, or young enough, and my breasts are definitely not big enough. It has been mentioned that I consistently carry a frown pon me face. At this I take offense. I do not frown often, but it is true that I don’t smile when walking down the street until I encounter someone. Seriously, why the fuck would I be smiling if there is no one to receive it. Oh yes, and I say ‘fuck’ alot. What I mean alot. I have my father to thank for that. He was a fucker who used that expression in all of it glorious manifestations. At the present I am in San Ignacio, Belize. I first came to Belize six years ago as part of an archaeology field school. I would have just stayed if it wasn’t for mi pickney. One more thing you should know bout me. I speak all the Englishes, at once. English, proper and it’s bastard children of America and Canada, Kryiol, bayou, ebonics, drunk, and crackhead. But anyways, I still don’t know why I first came to Belize. My thesis advisor said ‘you want to go to Belize?’

‘Sure’ I answered.

‘What part of Afrika, is Belize in?’ someone asked behind me.

‘The part between Mexico and Guatemala,’ I moaned.  ‘jeebus, don’t be in my lab class’ i thought.  He was.